My Little Corner of the World

I need an outlet; a reason to write. I’m starting to not sleep at night again. It’s not about sleeping all day, I just feel more alive at night. I took a drive to drop some books off at the library and pick up my meds. It was the first time I’d driven my own car in I don’t know how many days. I blasted Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and drove with the windows down. The moon was beautiful and all I wanted to do was be out under it soaking up all that reflected sunlight. I miss being in a place where it’s safe for me to be out by myself.

I’m getting so restless. I’m stuck at home all day. Have been pretty much since December. I hardly ever get to use my own car. I don’t have my own money. I hate being dependent. I’ve applied for so many damn jobs and only had around 3 actual interviews. At the library alone here I’ve applied at least 20 times since I’ve lived in Columbia.

I’m so worried about my husband. I just don’t know what to do. The doctors are completly useless which makes me feel even more useless. I don’t want to be a widow. We got married because we are head over heels in love. If I lost him I don’t know what I’d do.

On a totally different not our living room smells like styrofoam and I have no idea why. It reminds me of the deck styrofoam Grandpa Steve used for target practice with his bow. I really miss him. It’s father day on Sunday and he was the only dad I really had for the longest time.  About a year ago I found out for sure who my dad is and we are trying to build that relationship. It isn’t easy by any means, but it’s worth working for.

About solsticekitten

I've got a Bachelor's of Fine Arts in Creative Writing and a lot of free time. I'm the kind of woman who loves Disney movies, because they are what I was raised on. My favorite movie is Peter Pan. I love fairy tales because they always have a happy ending or most of the time a satisfying one. I love with my whole heart. My nose is usually stuck in a book. The characters become so real, I cry with them and laugh.
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1 Response to My Little Corner of the World

  1. I love you! And you will find something, I promise…took me a long time, just need to be patient.

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